The MiniGanze

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The MiniGanze

The MiniGanze is a rare, elusive creature whose main habitat is the rural streets of the West Island in Quebec, Canada. It can often be spotted in cool, dark rooms such as basements, and prefers cold weather to warm. In fact, the MiniGanze loathes warm climates so much that it will hibernate for much of the summer, waking only to write and feed its pet, which is usually a small dog or a cat.
This creature is naturally very shy and will avoid most humans like the plague until it is certain that they are not a threat. This may take several months or it may take only a week, depending on how often the MiniGanze is exposed to the person.
It is attracted to enclosed dark, cold spaces, music players, new ear buds still in packaging, and computer screens with empty Word documents. To capture a MiniGanze, you must set up a dark room with two to four small windows, a comfortable place to sleep or sit, between twenty and two hundred books of all types (encyclopedias and fantasy novels are the most successful thus far), a computer (HP laptops seem to be a preference with most MiniGanzes) with its charger and Internet access and a new Word document open on the desktop, snack foods such as chips and crackers, soft drinks such as Root Beer and Pepsi, candy such as Rockets or chocolate, and so many pillows and blankets you fear the creature may drown while swathed in softness. It will use these to make its nest. Adding a desk and comfortable chair will heighten your chances at attracting a MiniGanze. Privacy is a must, so the room should be relatively unfrequented - occasional visits are fine, but do not linger more than an hour or so each day or the MiniGanze will be put off by the scent of humans or the changes to its habitat - and have a door with a lock. It is suggested you keep a key to the lock, as the MiniGanze may not hear you knock.
An important thing to remember with the MiniGanze is that once it is situated comfortably, any changes to its chosen lair will be immediately reversed, no matter how superficial. The MiniGanze will defend what it considers to be "its territory" with ferocious verbal assaults and dirty looks that rival those of history's worst villains, both fictitious and factitious, and the occasionally missing article may occur. Pants are usually found in the backyard while socks linger behind toilets and shirts are stashed under sinks, usually in the kitchen. Undergarments may never be found, as their hiding places vary, but a look in the closet of the guest room or under the couch of the living room may prove fruitful. Please note that it is a good idea to wash clothing articles after they are found before donning them.
The MiniGanze is between 120 and 170 lbs, depending on its food consumption, and heights vary from five feet to five feet and four inches. Hair is either blonde, brown, or any mixture of the two, and is sometimes died partially red for decorative purposes. The preferred style of coverings for the MiniGanze is usually shorts and t-shirts, as it hates to overheat, but may also wear a baggy sweater for comfort purposes. It is always barefoot until it steps foot outside, at which point it may wear running shoes or boots, depending on the season. Keep a healthy supply of Q-tips on hand, as the MiniGanze will automatically reach for them to clean the keyboard of whatever computer was sacrificed to it. Also, it is a good idea to buy soft drinks every week, as it consumes 1 to 4 cans per day.
With proper care and lots of privacy, the MiniGanze will prove to be a valuable companion. It will listen to complaints and sob stories without a cross word and will fiercely defend you in social situations. It will even suffer debilitating sleep-loss to keep your combined habitats clean and organized. A slight amount of obsession on cleanliness is common, as is occasional bouts of unbelievable laziness during which it will wish only to rest in its nest. Overall, the MiniGanze is difficult to understand and care for, but it is a life-long companion and will be forever loyal when its trust is earned.

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  • confuseduzu:

rileyav:

xionthepuppet:

healingxflower:

nuclearcarrots:

anyone who says “just internet friends” is a fucking douche okaymy internet friends have wiped my tears dozens more times than my “real life friends”

Any friendship, on line or not, is still a bond, no? Whether you be a mile away, or a thousand miles away—it’s still a friendship. Something brings us all together; a string of fate, if you will? We’re friends. I love mine. No matter where they are on this planet. And I don’t see the difference than living ten minutes away or eighteen hours away. Friendship is friendship.

A number of reputable psychologists and sociologists seem to agree with the populace that claims internet friendships are just as strong and healthy as the face-to-face ones. Here are just a few quotes obtained from a scholastic library of essays written by said psychologists and sociologists. 
“Many friendships have been formed online. A national survey of adolescent Internet users in the United States reported that more than half of the sample conversed with people whom they did not know face-to-face through various online communication channels such as chat rooms and email. Twenty-five percent of the adolescents developed casual online friendships, and 14% of them had developed close online friendships.” 
“We propose that those who feel that they can better express their true selveson the Internet than they can in their non-Internet areas of life will be more likelyto form close relationships with those they meet on-line.”
“…not only do UK housewives spend more of their downtime online than anyone else in the whole wide world, but also that – shock, horror – people are increasingly open to turning “online” friends into people they’d deign to call real life friends.”
“However, it may be hard to find others who share one’s interests in one’s local area, and when people get to know one another in the traditional manner, it generally takes time to establish whether they have commonalities and to what extent. But when someone joins a newsgroup devoted to, for example, aging ferrets, he or she already knows that there is a shared base of interest with the others there.”
 “Some researchers argue that people can develop close online relationships because the Internet enables individuals to pass through obstacles that may prevent potentially rewarding relationships from developing through face-to-face interaction.”
“Depending on the root of the friendship, on where the conversation started, the benefit is clear – you cut out the tedium of small talk. What could be better? There’s no trying to slowly work out whether you think similarly or have the same kinds of life experience, or whether you really do have enough in common to sustain the friendship – all that is done by the time you meet because you’ve read their comments or their emails or their blog. “
So, tl;dr?
Anyone who would dare talk down on close, internet relationships is ignorant. 

cries

THIS.

    confuseduzu:

    rileyav:

    xionthepuppet:

    healingxflower:

    nuclearcarrots:

    anyone who says “just internet friends” is a fucking douche okay

    my internet friends have wiped my tears dozens more times than my “real life friends”

    Any friendship, on line or not, is still a bond, no? Whether you be a mile away, or a thousand miles away—it’s still a friendship. Something brings us all together; a string of fate, if you will? We’re friends. I love mine. No matter where they are on this planet. And I don’t see the difference than living ten minutes away or eighteen hours away. Friendship is friendship.

    A number of reputable psychologists and sociologists seem to agree with the populace that claims internet friendships are just as strong and healthy as the face-to-face ones. Here are just a few quotes obtained from a scholastic library of essays written by said psychologists and sociologists. 

    “Many friendships have been formed online. A national survey of adolescent Internet users in the United States reported that more than half of the sample conversed with people whom they did not know face-to-face through various online communication channels such as chat rooms and email. Twenty-five percent of the adolescents developed casual online friendships, and 14% of them had developed close online friendships.” 

    “We propose that those who feel that they can better express their true selves
    on the Internet than they can in their non-Internet areas of life will be more likely
    to form close relationships with those they meet on-line.”

    “…not only do UK housewives spend more of their downtime online than anyone else in the whole wide world, but also that – shock, horror – people are increasingly open to turning “online” friends into people they’d deign to call real life friends.”

    “However, it may be hard to find others who share one’s interests in one’s local area, and when people get to know one another in the traditional manner, it generally takes time to establish whether they have commonalities and to what extent. But when someone joins a newsgroup devoted to, for example, aging ferrets, he or she already knows that there is a shared base of interest with the others there.”

     “Some researchers argue that people can develop close online relationships because the Internet enables individuals to pass through obstacles that may prevent potentially rewarding relationships from developing through face-to-face interaction.”

    “Depending on the root of the friendship, on where the conversation started, the benefit is clear – you cut out the tedium of small talk. What could be better? There’s no trying to slowly work out whether you think similarly or have the same kinds of life experience, or whether you really do have enough in common to sustain the friendship – all that is done by the time you meet because you’ve read their comments or their emails or their blog. “

    So, tl;dr?

    Anyone who would dare talk down on close, internet relationships is ignorant. 

    cries

    THIS.

    (via moriatea)

    Posted on February 23, 2012 via some shit with 23,441 notes

    Source: nuclearcarrots

    1. ricachan reblogged this from cuddletiem
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    6. missingkitsune reblogged this from imperialmog and added:
      y’all have no idea how true…..rl families can some times suck. i’d rather stick with my internet friends. they’re...
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    9. imperialmog reblogged this from to-keep-running-is-to-win and added:
      I got some friends online who understand me better than my own family. Big shoutout to them, and they know who they are.
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      Yes, and they made them flow so many times as well…
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