The MiniGanze

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The MiniGanze

The MiniGanze is a rare, elusive creature whose main habitat is the rural streets of the West Island in Quebec, Canada. It can often be spotted in cool, dark rooms such as basements, and prefers cold weather to warm. In fact, the MiniGanze loathes warm climates so much that it will hibernate for much of the summer, waking only to write and feed its pet, which is usually a small dog or a cat.
This creature is naturally very shy and will avoid most humans like the plague until it is certain that they are not a threat. This may take several months or it may take only a week, depending on how often the MiniGanze is exposed to the person.
It is attracted to enclosed dark, cold spaces, music players, new ear buds still in packaging, and computer screens with empty Word documents. To capture a MiniGanze, you must set up a dark room with two to four small windows, a comfortable place to sleep or sit, between twenty and two hundred books of all types (encyclopedias and fantasy novels are the most successful thus far), a computer (HP laptops seem to be a preference with most MiniGanzes) with its charger and Internet access and a new Word document open on the desktop, snack foods such as chips and crackers, soft drinks such as Root Beer and Pepsi, candy such as Rockets or chocolate, and so many pillows and blankets you fear the creature may drown while swathed in softness. It will use these to make its nest. Adding a desk and comfortable chair will heighten your chances at attracting a MiniGanze. Privacy is a must, so the room should be relatively unfrequented - occasional visits are fine, but do not linger more than an hour or so each day or the MiniGanze will be put off by the scent of humans or the changes to its habitat - and have a door with a lock. It is suggested you keep a key to the lock, as the MiniGanze may not hear you knock.
An important thing to remember with the MiniGanze is that once it is situated comfortably, any changes to its chosen lair will be immediately reversed, no matter how superficial. The MiniGanze will defend what it considers to be "its territory" with ferocious verbal assaults and dirty looks that rival those of history's worst villains, both fictitious and factitious, and the occasionally missing article may occur. Pants are usually found in the backyard while socks linger behind toilets and shirts are stashed under sinks, usually in the kitchen. Undergarments may never be found, as their hiding places vary, but a look in the closet of the guest room or under the couch of the living room may prove fruitful. Please note that it is a good idea to wash clothing articles after they are found before donning them.
The MiniGanze is between 120 and 170 lbs, depending on its food consumption, and heights vary from five feet to five feet and four inches. Hair is either blonde, brown, or any mixture of the two, and is sometimes died partially red for decorative purposes. The preferred style of coverings for the MiniGanze is usually shorts and t-shirts, as it hates to overheat, but may also wear a baggy sweater for comfort purposes. It is always barefoot until it steps foot outside, at which point it may wear running shoes or boots, depending on the season. Keep a healthy supply of Q-tips on hand, as the MiniGanze will automatically reach for them to clean the keyboard of whatever computer was sacrificed to it. Also, it is a good idea to buy soft drinks every week, as it consumes 1 to 4 cans per day.
With proper care and lots of privacy, the MiniGanze will prove to be a valuable companion. It will listen to complaints and sob stories without a cross word and will fiercely defend you in social situations. It will even suffer debilitating sleep-loss to keep your combined habitats clean and organized. A slight amount of obsession on cleanliness is common, as is occasional bouts of unbelievable laziness during which it will wish only to rest in its nest. Overall, the MiniGanze is difficult to understand and care for, but it is a life-long companion and will be forever loyal when its trust is earned.

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  • the-unpopular-opinions:

I love my country. I feel safe here. I also feel a lot of pride. It might not be a perfect country, but it is mine and I am proud of it.  
You’re only good for discount liquor :)

    the-unpopular-opinions:

    I love my country. I feel safe here. I also feel a lot of pride. It might not be a perfect country, but it is mine and I am proud of it.  

    You’re only good for discount liquor :)

    (via anime-freak-glitter-kitten)

    Posted on February 22, 2012 via Your Unpopular Opinions with 277 notes

    Source: the-unpopular-opinions

    1. zaynmalikssexiness liked this
    2. dazzledbycarrie liked this
    3. tuesdaymayfourth liked this
    4. aegisxiii liked this
    5. ayahdiamon reblogged this from brunibun and added:
      I’m moving there cos it’s cold lol |D
    6. thingsiwishihadthecouragetosay reblogged this from moexox
    7. hamburgerking reblogged this from lunar-eclipse-of-the-sun
    8. sviristelle liked this
    9. gustavssons liked this
    10. evolving-teen liked this
    11. madeline90 said: Unless you’ve lived in the US, this idea is stupid. And that’s great that you love your country, but please don’t put down other countries while doing so. I also love and feel safe in the US.
    12. toinfinityandbeyond-x liked this
    13. paintyourimagination liked this
    14. charittylynn liked this
    15. eeyoreandweedftw liked this
    16. cloudyoctoberskies reblogged this from mock-turtles-song
    17. ashengrayskies liked this
    18. brookemorris666 reblogged this from bethebestyouu and added:
      You’re only good for discount liquor :)
    19. motherfuckin-snozzberries said: I agree. I’m moving to Canada as soon as I graduate college, it just seems to be less of a hassle than the US.
    20. motherfuckin-snozzberries liked this
    21. thingsbelieber reblogged this from biebspedophile
    22. biebspedophile reblogged this from youremy0nelove
    23. anfuu liked this
    24. bethebestyouu reblogged this from strykhedonia
    25. talkthattalk93 reblogged this from kittensaremycrack
    26. sefton-iris liked this
    27. shiiki-sama liked this
    28. clusterfuck liked this
    29. close-watch liked this
    30. thatflyingrainbowturtle reblogged this from actualcannibalthor
    31. actualcannibalthor reblogged this from canadian-dishwasher
    32. thoughts-of-wonder reblogged this from takesometimetobreathe and added:
      Lower drinking age, less corruption, free healthcare, less crime. I can go on for awhile here…
    33. a-drop-iin-the-ocean liked this
    34. la-vie-secrete-de-karla liked this
    35. downinthebayou liked this
    36. craignog liked this
    37. alot-like-love liked this
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    39. 645love liked this
    40. 645love reblogged this from daaniflew
    41. daaniflew reblogged this from kittensaremycrack
    42. itsgleetastic liked this
    43. torresbrothersdegrassi reblogged this from holly-hysteria
    44. lepetitsheep reblogged this from littlefearie and added:
      who disagrees with this though my experience has been that everyone in the u.s. thinks of canada as some kind of utopia.
    45. ma-ri-a liked this
    46. littlefearie reblogged this from lostcitymedia
    47. coooorn reblogged this from alinfinichere
    48. eclaresmatchingpiercings liked this
    49. keswick reblogged this from shadow-dayss
    50. keswick liked this
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